Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
be right there i have to get my cape
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
