She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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