My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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