wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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