no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
