I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
