Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
