That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
