is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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