dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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