oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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