eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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