I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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