is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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