she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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