Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
