After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
