i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
