Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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