That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
