All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
