party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
