Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
