I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
