Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
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Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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