On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my phone needs a breathalizer
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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