I'm going to jail i love you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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