Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

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  (843): plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone. http://tfl.nu/rlid
  Replies (69) Good night (5145) Bad night (818)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.

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  (804): god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked. http://tfl.nu/eqg5
  Replies (8) Good night (3190) Bad night (950)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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  (239): just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one http://tfl.nu/sg9e
  Replies (18) Good night (7709) Bad night (1654)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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  (763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq
  Replies (10) Good night (4730) Bad night (1112)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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  (307): All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet http://tfl.nu/uky8
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (2253)
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  (916): View more from California

  Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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  (916): Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity. http://tfl.nu/tb29
  Replies (4) Good night (3263) Bad night (1061)
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  (510): View more from California

  note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

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  (510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44
  Replies (4) Good night (2445) Bad night (1090)
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  (+03): View more from

  Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'

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  (+03): Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here' http://tfl.nu/86hi
  Replies (14) Good night (6687) Bad night (1516)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

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  (206): Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life. http://tfl.nu/nb15
  Replies (12) Good night (2589) Bad night (871)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.

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  (516): Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs. http://tfl.nu/urlg
  Replies (10) Good night (711) Bad night (966)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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  (734): I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW. http://tfl.nu/ynr9
  Replies (10) Good night (2644) Bad night (680)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

  (813): View more from Florida

  You always make things weird.

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  (863): Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower. (813): You always make things weird. http://tfl.nu/1vvg
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (441)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.

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  (202): Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way. http://tfl.nu/t0k2
  Replies (8) Good night (393) Bad night (1642)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.

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  (602): We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening. http://tfl.nu/4cd0
  Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (499)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.

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  (616): He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/qmnu
  Replies (9) Good night (893) Bad night (346)

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