Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
