You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif