Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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(205): Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail http://tfl.nu/2rgt

Replies (8) Good night (1096) Bad night (1560)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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(612): I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/epkg

Replies (61) Good night (11349) Bad night (873)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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(608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv

Replies (25) Good night (3847) Bad night (594)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate

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(318): i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate http://tfl.nu/h0ad

Replies (15) Good night (671) Bad night (4271)
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(613): View more from Ontario

My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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(613): My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian http://tfl.nu/6wog

Replies (63) Good night (8435) Bad night (623)
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(915): View more from Texas

when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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(915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg

Replies (23) Good night (3633) Bad night (1358)
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(845): View more from New York

What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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(845): What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know http://tfl.nu/y6wb

Replies (5) Good night (4307) Bad night (1156)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

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(302): Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now http://tfl.nu/i71d

Replies (15) Good night (752) Bad night (4450)
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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq

Replies (30) Good night (5980) Bad night (1613)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.

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(484): walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad. http://tfl.nu/s89m

Replies (8) Good night (3691) Bad night (852)
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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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(540): About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience. http://tfl.nu/yfor

Replies (6) Good night (1512) Bad night (1002)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?

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(317): Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night? http://tfl.nu/o2wm

Replies (8) Good night (1577) Bad night (523)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

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(225): Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me? http://tfl.nu/lu4d

Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (492)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's

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(614): Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's http://tfl.nu/o9z1

Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (439)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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(304): I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!! http://tfl.nu/l5gi

Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (523)

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