I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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