Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.