Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
