take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize