and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
