I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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