Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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