Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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