Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
