Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
