god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
