sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to have your abortion
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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