for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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