Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
