Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
