Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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