Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
