Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
