a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
