I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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