He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
