Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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