i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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