Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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