woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize