hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
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i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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