oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
