Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
