life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
