It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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