New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
