Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
