I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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