His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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