well I can't set my house on fire every night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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