do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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