I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize